How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Certainly not Jimmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why is it unpleasant to eat a meal with lots of basketball players? Because they will be focussing entirely on discussing tactics (especially if there is an upcoming game), and therefore will probably not be displaying good manners or making polite mealtime conversation.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What time is it? 2:47 PM.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

a duck wanted grapes. he didnt get any

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the guy eat pizza? Because he likes pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. Why couldn't the blind black guy read. A. He's Dead

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops