When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a duck and a bicycle? They both have handlebars. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis. -Rivrawr

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a clown, and clowns are scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats big black and hairy? A large black dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama is so fat that her doctor advised her to get some exercise or risk developing a heart condition!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops