How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? a stick

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Why did the plane crash The pilot, being an uneducated pilot, crashed the plane as he didn't have proper training, and the whole of the passengers died.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia! Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have amnesia......

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Q: What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A: A pedophile.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Betty wanted to see time fly so she threw her alarm clock out the window. Shortly after, her mother grounded her as it was quite expensive and she had become less punctual without it.

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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what is worse than a hole in your sock? Getting raped

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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