Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark. Because he's a grown man, and most grown men aren't afraid of the dark.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

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Ten black people are on the 100th floor of a 110 floor building. They are going to die because they are trapped in the World Trade Center and are leaving a very happy life with their loving families.

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Chuck Norris and Bane recently had a fight on a bet. The result was Bane won easily as he is the much bigger and stronger man, and Chuck Norris lacks the skills he once possessed as a younger man as he is now 72 years old.

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I dont often wash my hands in the bathroom but when i do its so people dont think im gross.

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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In order to find a woman, you need time and money. Woman=Time&Money The longer you spend at work, the more money you get. Time=Money Money is the root of most problems in the world today. Money=Problems Therefore Women=Problems

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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What's worse then falling up the stairs? Ketchup

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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