If you have a stroke, call 000

whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

WHATS THE BEST AVENUE TIN SHACK AVENUE

How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

Ring Ring! Hello? Hello, is your refrigerator running? Yes it is Good.

What do you do when you see a half-dead black man on the floor? Call an ambulance before he bleeds out causing sepsis.

Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

Why did Ian pass his CRB check? Because he committed his crimes on holiday

A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

How many blondes does it take to play a game of hide and seek? One ... ;)

Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

what do u call a blonde in the libary? alexandra wallace

Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

Why was the math text book so worried....… Because he had to many problems

Me: What postion in baseball does a cat play? You: I don't know? What? Me: I don't know i haven't eaten that part yet.

hes climbing in your window, hes snatching your people up. Hes a fireman.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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