I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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How do you stop a baby from drowning? Take your foot off its neck.

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How do you get free money? Hire a black man to rob a bank.

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Why did the black guy die... Herpees he didn't practice safe sex

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What did Siri say to Cortana? Nothing. Someone has to say something in order to activate either one of the voice recognition devices.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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What do you call black people in a church, Holy shit

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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What do you call a black man running faster than a white man? Usain Bolt

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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I have 20 dollars and 27 cents. How much money do I have? 20.28$ I found a penny.

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how do you get 20 people in a mini? open the door would be a good start but i dont think they will all fit.

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What does aaron eat for dinner Answer- Fat Finger HAHAHAHAHA

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Did you hear about the woman that died of a heart attack? More oxygen for us!

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

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Q: A policeman is working past a room. The window is too high to see in. The person hears "no John, don't", and then a gunshot. He rushes inside and sees a dead body on the floor with a gun beside him. Also in the room are a doctor, a lawyer and a priest. Without asking any questions, he immediately arrests the priest. Why? A: Because the priest is the only male in the room.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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