Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why is Ian's name Ian? Because he was adopted

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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CAOIMHIN JUST BE QUITE

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

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Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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mirror mirror on the wall who has the most desire of them all? Matt Daly!

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Why couldn't little Susie ride her bicycle? She had Cerebral Palsy.

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair Fuzzy wuzzy wasn't very fuzzy, was he? No, because he had cancer.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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A man works at a Doritos factory hes worked there for a few weeks and hes made the most Doritos in his line now and the head of the company gives him a promotion he now runs his own line a few months later the head of the company bob comes back to him and promoted him again to now our friend Carl is head of the Factory about two years later bob comes to Carl and hes promoted to head of the east coast he is head of 27 Factories about a decade later bob asks Carl if when he retires Carl will take over the company and he accepts bobs offer 23 years pass and bob retires Carl is the new head of the company so he is about like 65 at this point and he wants some wine so him and his buddies go for some wine Dan says Carl this lines two long so they decide to have some soda and then Jason says this lines longer then the last one so Aiden says to Carl why don't we go get some punch so they all got into line but there was no punch line a.w. j.p.

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Why did the cow say moo? Cows can't say anything they actually make noises that humans interpreted as "moo"

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What do you call a burger made from children with Aspbergers? Cannibalism

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how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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Have you seen Hellen Kellers mon?... Neither has she

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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