- Anti Joke

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

Before Marriage: Boy: Ah at last. I can hardly wait. Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even think about it. Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of Course. Always have and always will. Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: Never. Why are you even asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get. Girl: Will you hit me? Boy: Hell no. Are you crazy? Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yes. Girl: Darling! After Marriage: (Read from bottom to top)

A devout Christian dies– Peter winks as his soul passes through the impenetrable Gates of Heaven. Everyone is gay and– like, gay as in happy– Homosexuals aren't allowed in.

why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

Why wouldn't Leena sleep with Ole? Because she thought him to be a dumb, ugly, Scandinavian.

A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks an assistant, "Can I buy that TV"? He says, "Sure, no problem." She then walks out of the store, happy with the purchase that she made.

Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

How many drugs does it take for Eminem to sing in a live concert? Enough.

When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

why did victor have a tube on his neck he was helping james with security

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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