How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I stabbed someone in my garden, There's blood everywhere

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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Why was Allen late for work? He was mauled by a bear. Allen is dead.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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how man

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN WHAT'S THE ANSWER?! WHAT DO YAH MEAN YA DUNNO?!

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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"bus driver pressed the horn at my mum and she stuck a finger up at him " Not the first time she's got the horn and shoved a finger up

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why couldnt rex bark??? because he was a fish!

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A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

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John: Hey Debbie, do you wanna go see a movie with me? Dina: My name is Dina

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What do you call a chicken with no feathers, no guts, and no head? Fried chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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