what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

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Knock. Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Are you mentally handicapped? Bananas are fruit.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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What do you call a dog? A cat. What do you call a cat? A banana.

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bob lost his camouflage bag. he never found it.

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What do you get when you cross a gay man with a chainsaw? A decapitated homosexual.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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