If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I am a dog.

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

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What's worse than getting pulled over by the police? getting pulled over and getting a bloody tampon stuck to your forehead.

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A blind man walk in to a bar... He then yells a 4 letter explative, backs up, and walks around it.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What happend to the girl who went to school dreased ugly She took the other students advice and whent home and killed her self

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the 99p mcdonalds mayo chicken was popular in the coop.

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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Lol! The connection timed out. Double D`s they kill my back so I am gonna get them reduced someday, and sure because it gets really itchy otherwise.

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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went to mass. remembered to say with your spirit.

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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…What did you put in the drink that made me fart, and kill my horse?

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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