Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

Ask me if I'm a cucumber. Are you a cucumber? No.

So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

What did one Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I would tell you but i don't speak Chinese therefore i have no way of translating it for you

Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

What color do you get when you mix aquamarine with magenta? Transvestite.

What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

What's the difference between a duck and male black prostitute? The duck is says quack

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because numbers, like people, are afraid of all things bigger than themselves

What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

A gay man walks down a street before being stabbed to death by a homophobe.

knock knock come in !

Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

your mama is so fat, she sat on the ipod touch and made the ipad.

Q- Why? A- Why not?

its all shi.ts and giggles.... ......until someone giggles and s.hits

How old are you? 7

This is the funniest joke in the world: Just joking!

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

Why did the little boy grow up to be a homosexual man? He didn't find the female reproductive system sexually appealing

Roses are red violets are blue I'm gonna rape you with a stick

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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