A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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i like your face... HAHAHAHAH just kidding you make me want to projectile vomit.

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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An Irishman, a Zimbabwean and a South African walk into a bar... oh wait, it's just the English cricket team.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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whats worse than getting lost in europe? becoming the middle in the human centipede.

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What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He has no legs.

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Knock knock whose there alzheimers alzheimers who get in the van

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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When u send someone fudge, u must send a note along with it! Roses are red Violets are blue Fudge is brown Here's some fudge

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whats worse than a friend asking you if their ugly, telling them to look in the mirror.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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whats worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in ten dumpsters.

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Your mom is so poor She will soon have to make the difficult decision whether or not to put you up for adoption

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A Catholic, a Protestant, and a Jew are stranded in the middle of the ocean on a raft. They all die of dysentery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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