Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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A man wakes up in his bed and looks at the clock. He realises he is gonna be late for work. He quickly gets out of bed, into the bathroom, has a shower, puts his deodorant on and brushes his teeth, gets dressed, and goes in his car. He drives out of his garage and drives to his work but gets stuck in traffic. He then gets to the car park of his work and parks his car. He gets out, goes up the elevator to his floor, when the elevator door opens to his floor, he quickly says hello to Terrance and goes to his bosses office. And guess what the boss says? You're late.

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So a man walking down a nature trail came across an injured fox laying on the ground in pain, it looked like it was attacked recently. There wasn't much the man could do at the time, so he gently picked up the fox and rushed the fox to his house. The man arrives moments later at his house with the fox. There were a lot of options the man could choose, but he went with a simple recipe. The man grabbed a knife and gutted the fox, removing all unnecessary organs. He then skinned the fox of it's fur. He sliced the head off, cut the legs to a stub, and stuffed it. He gave it a nice seasoning and placed it in the oven at about 350F for 6 hours. When the fox was perfectly cooked, it was taken out of the oven and left to sit for about 5 minutes to cool. He cut a chunk of meat from the dish and sat down to eat. "What a fine meal" the man said.

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hy did the boy cross the road? to jump of the bridge on the other side.

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I'm pretty sure you can't throw a fridge...

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Why did the girl stop smoking? Because her mum asked her to.

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Why did the blonde walk into a glass wall? Because she either wasn't watching where she was going or the wall was so clean that it appeard not to be there

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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What did the black man get for christmas? A present.

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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So i know this guy... yes? thats it.

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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