How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics ? Not being disabled

why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

What is the hottest day of the week? Wednesday

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because black people are usually stronger than chicken. If they weren't, chickens would probably eat fried black people.

Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

Yo mama's so fat because her BMI is considered obese on the scale.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

Three guys walk into a bar.....The fourth one ducks...

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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