Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

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Why do Jews have such large noses? Hereditary genetics.

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A man walks into his room with a DVD and a box of kleenex. The DVD is a wedding video of his now dead wife.

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Why did the jewish family move? Their house burnt down. They lost everything and was tragic

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt has a really long name.

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roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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If you go to a restaurant and you have more food on your plate then someone who is obese, you KNOW you have too much food.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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