Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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I saw Scarface uncut last weekend. It was called Face

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A jew walks into a bar.... He has a beer and then goes home to his family.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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Does Anti-Joke have a purpose?

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Why did the blonde go to the post office? Because she received a phone call from them indicating that there was a package for her.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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But officer, I did come to a full stop!

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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Yo momma so hairy she needs to shave herself.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out if the tree? He was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, Monkey do.

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You wanna know something that doesn't exist? Grandma's.........that haven't given BLOW JOBS!

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How do you keep black people out of your backyard. A no trespassing sign.

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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How is a raven like a writing desk? Both have absolutely nothing to do with the other one.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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You say tomayto, I say ecstasy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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