"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Will farrow now gimme your hentai"

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Why did the man lose the a race? 'Cause he has no legs

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It's 4/20. You know what that means? Today is a Wednesday

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Red my dear, we are no exceptions.

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What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

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why does Tom Sawyer like apples? He likes their flavor

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Your mother is so fat she has to have her clothing specially ordered, this brought her to a massive credit card bill and made your entire family bankrupt.

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whats black and goes to newy high Manyiel

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why did the 15 year old commit suicide? Because his parents and 3 sisters died in a car accident and he went to live with his uncle, who constantly raped him.

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Guy 1: What the shit is that car? Guy 2: Its not a car. It's an alfa romeo

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Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

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A drunkard walked into a bar, and up to the bartender. He proceeded to **** the **** until he ******. I proceeded to break down in immense frustration over censorship.

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A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Three guys walk into a bar. The four man hastily ducks, grabs his phone and calls the local paramedic.

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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What is the difference between a fridge? I'm sorry, I have a severe mental disability and telling jokes is not... F'tang F'tang Zoop Pong Wii!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops