Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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What do you call a latino with a limp? John...his name is John

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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What did the little Jew boy get for Christmas? nothing he is a Jew, he doesn't celebrate Christmas.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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womens rights.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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