Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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Q: Why do all Asians have small penises? A: They don't.

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Q:What happens when a bug walks into a bar A:It gets stepped on

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

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A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

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whats flat and useless? the walls of an abandoned house where land prices are increasing and properties are in high demand

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Josh Moran peels off his foreskin while watching gay porn.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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why was the frog sad..... because it was stappled to the boys face

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What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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A white man, a black man, a Mexican man and a Chinese man were on the same bus. The didn't socialize cuz that would count as racism

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What did micheal Jackson get for Christmas?a restraining order!

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sandwich. roller coaster. brain sprout. cholera, meander. time. rivet.porcupine. mayonaise. frying. x-ray forever.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops