An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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How man people does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1 an electrician

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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An Irish man sips at a large beer. Oh yeah and your mother's a whore.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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look im not better than you, your a ten im a two your a queen im a fool you got looks i got scares u got talent i got beuty to its a win win

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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