Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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What's Pi times the square root of a panda's earlobe? Panda's do not have earlobes... thus the answer is inexplicable.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Why did the chicken cross the road .... The traffic light turned red

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Roses are red violets are blue ice-cream is yummy can I eat you

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Who is the fattest mexican on the earth? Not Osama because he's dead...and he wasn't mexican..

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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womens rights.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than that? Hearing that joke a million times on this site.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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