Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

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Instructions to make origami. 1.) Staple bagels to face 2.) Ask someone else to do it. 3.) Hang yourself because you are too stupid to figure it out yourself

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civil rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Roses are Red Violets are Red Grass is Red Trees are Red My yard is on fire.

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Why was Samantha crying? Because her hair got stuck in a fan.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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What do you call a blonde at the beach? A dipthong.

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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Canadians

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Knock knock. Who is there? My wife. My wife who? My wife is a prostitute, selling her own body for money so we can afford drugs for my son who has cancer.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Why was Emily in Alaska? Because she and some friends had been playing Simon Says at a birthday party, and the dad had said 'Simon Says go to Alaska'.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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