One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

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Q: What Would Canada Be With out Nature A: Peru

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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Four black guys have a picnic. One of them pulls out a bag of KFC. Another pulls out some Kool Aid. The third pulls out a watermelon. The fourth pulls out a box of cookies you racist prick

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

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What do you call a mother cow? Moooom

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Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

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Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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Then none of us want to be right.

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what's the difference between a duck? You can't wash a window with a brick.

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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Q:What do you call a mexican witha clean record? A: Impossible

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, pee pee is yellow, poo poo is brown. if not you have a serious disease...

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Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

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why did the black man drink grape kool-aid kool-aid refreshed him after a hard days work out in the field picking cotton

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A goose walks into a bar. Maybe he should have ducked.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who couldnt find his shoes? No? ok ill talk to someone who will get the reference

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knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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