A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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What is the difference between a Mexican man and a bench? The Mexican man is a human being, thus being sentient and able to partake in social activities, such as receiving education, meeting people, getting a job, raising a family, and getting somewhere in life. The bench cannot do anything. It is inanimate and is meant to be sat on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? It is unlikely that this situation would occur, as tractors are very large objects and losing one would be very hard, furthermore, tractors are vital agricultural vehicles and most farmers would take care in not misplacing one.

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A blonde heard that 90% of all crimes occur within a one-mile radius of the home, so she had a security alarm installed.

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Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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No

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops