How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

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Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Why did the dog have no legs? Because its previous owner had cut them off.

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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My name's Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump.

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What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Why did Bob the Builder die? He had cancer.

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No

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Q.) What do you call a black man on the moon? A.) An astronaut.

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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A man approaches an attractive young woman at a party. He asks her if a rag smells like chloroform and proceeds to hold the rag up to her face. She passes out, the man takes her into a nearby bedroom and rapes her. He casually leaves the party. He will most likely continue this vile act for years to come.

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Everybody has a penis! EVERY BODY! WHY can't feminists admit this obvious anatomical fact? Gahhhh!

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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