every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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What do you call a gay kid, a horrible singer, and has long hair for a guy? Justin Bieber

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

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Why did the little girl cry in school? Because she remembered her parents were both in prison. She is in a state run foster academy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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