A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

mario squashes another goomba when his wife hears of this he kills her 3 children with a gun and hangs herself.

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

How do you get a blonde's number? You ask her, but she probably won't give it to a loser like you.

What is black and white and red all over? Interracial sex partners with smallpox.

What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

What were the pilots' of Malaysia Airlines Missing plane favourite programs? Lost...

Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

How do you get rid of black people in your back yard? Politely ask them to leave.

A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

What happened when the man went to the bar? He got drunk, drove home injuring a young teen mother, brutally assaulted his wife to the point of death. He's in prison serving 3 life sentences.

Why did the woman not wear a bra? Because she had breast cancer and got a double mastectomy.

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocausts.

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow wh- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In the time it has taken you to read this, a small African child has died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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