Why isn't Michael Jackson good at chess? Because he's dead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by 7, who is a rapist

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So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order some wine and have an enjoyable evening.

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What's worse than getting a bruise? AIDS.

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Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

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Why is the boy sad? He was getting bullied so he later on talked to a teacher and the bully and him settled their differences. The bullied boy still wishes the bully to go to hell.

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Repeat after me... I'matote ulbu twad Now say that all together Im a total butt wad

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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Why did the blonde walk into the bar? To get a beer.

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Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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A duck walks into a bar- nope, just chuck testa...

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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How do you kill a turtle? You can't, it has a shell for a reason.

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Q: What's worse than being stung by a bee A: The Rwandan Genocide

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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Patient: "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum." Doctor: "I've got some cream for that."

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops