Whoever is reading this, I love you and I hope you have a great day.

What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Poop

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

Bryson got a concussion...he died

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

Why did the boy wear glasses? Because he had bad eyesight.

What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He got hit in the head with a brick.

Why can't Hellen Keller watch Spongebob? She doesn't have the proper cable service

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

Why did the bus driver tell the black man to get to the back of the bus? Because all the seats up front were full and its dangerous to stand in a moving vehicle

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...