What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the apple say to the carrot? Nothing, apples don't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What was the little boys least favorite part of Christmas? Getting raped by his uncle.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A black, white, Asian, and Mexican are walking down the street. This is showing a good diverse community.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken die? Because it was crossing a busy road.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's the best way to remove leaves from a tree? take them off

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What happened to the pig? It got turned into bacon like every other pig.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker Face

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Knock Knock? Whos there? Ching Ching Who? No...Ching Smith you racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

DON'T OPEN IT IT'S PANDORA'S BOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive blonde. He is afraid of talking to her so he goes home and masterbates himself to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

SKnock Knock. Whose there? Why don't you open the door and find out instead of questioning the millions of other people that knock on your door everyday?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:What did the turtle say to the jaguar? A: Well, a turtle and a jaguar live in totally different habitats, turtles live in water while jaguars live in grasslands, so it would be unlikely for them to cross paths and communicate. Turtles and jaguars are unable to speak and, if a jaguar were to talk to a turtle, the turtle would be unable to make out words because turtles can only pick up vibrations. And, they would have nothing to talk about.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the teacher fall on her face? She was shot in the back of her head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops