Friend: Hey dude, you wanna come to my house after school and do some Meth? Other Friend: Nah I dont wanna get scabs all over my skin, disgusting teeth, and im not in the mood for dying early. Im good here.

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Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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What's worse than getting your dog neutered? You being the dog.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have to go to the bathroom.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

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A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

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why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Does it really matter?

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rose's are red violets are blue I have touretts blblblblblblblblbbl

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Q: Whats a spanish teacher who cant speak spanish A: duhh. it called an english teacher

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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