Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish.........That's a government lake. You're under arrest.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Thankgiving Jimmy: I'm thankful for my family Thomas: I'm thankful for shelter Jake: I'm thankful for running over babies

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Why lets go Mets? Lets go Yankees!

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Two muffins are in the oven, one muffin says "Gosh it's hot in here!", the other muffin says "HOLY CRAP A TALKING MUFFIN!".

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

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Chuck Norris will eventually die because he is a human being, just like all of us. His movies weren't very good either.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

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"Knock Knock" "Just ring the bloody bell for once!"

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A doctor tells a woman he needs to take her rectal temperature. The woman tells the doctor "That's not my rectum." The doctor promptly apologizes and conducts the rest of the check up.

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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Q.How Do You Make 7 People Laugh? A.Tell Them a Good Joke.

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Why did the guy go to the strip club? To look at naked people.

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7. Because 7 was a terrorist

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DAVE : did you hear the one about the poster? MICHAEL: what?

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops