why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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how do fit 104 jews in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 100 in the ash tray.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Why is my penis 2 inch hard? Because I rape little boys with it and there tight little asshole are crushing it

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Why did the black guy buy a jug of grape soda Because he was thirsty

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Why did the turtle fall out of the car? It forgot to buckle up

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

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What do you call a million pigs jumping out of an aircraft? Bacon.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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No thank you, I don't like violence

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and a whale? Comment your answer:

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What's red and blue and goes 105 MPH? A red and blue car.

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Q: whats worse than ten babies in one trash can A: one baby in ten trash cans

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What do you call 17 blondes standing in a row? most certainly not Charles because it seems as though it would be incrediblely unlikley that a girl would be named Charles

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

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What did john say to bob Hey bob

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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