What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Boobies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!B

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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How many women does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Thomas Edison was a man.

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How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Why did Mr. Cannon dies Because he got shot as an undercover cop in south america

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Two trees sit in a dark forest. Between them is a small hare. The wind blows hard and rustles the trees. The hare then looks up, and then forward. He hops away.

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Abortion

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I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

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I sas Ratzinger a sandwich when someone came up to me and said "sharing is caring" So I gave him a grenade He asked "where's the pin" I said " I pulled it for you" This is not an anti joke

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Roses r Red Violets r Blue I'm schizophrenic So am i too!

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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whats gay and american? a gay american

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why is adam jackson so black when his parents are white? their was alot of black dick up their during the pregnency. (once you go black, you NEVER go back!)

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Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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