What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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Did you hear the joke about the man and the serial killer? Neither did the man since he was stabbed repeatedly and thrown into the bottom of a lake.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

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What did the black do when a man robbed his house? He called 911

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if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

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How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb? No seriously, I don't know because we've only just got electricity in our village.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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what did the mexican do yesterday? bang your mom

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A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

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This is an anti-joke. It is not funny because "anti" means the opposite of something.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Sarah lost both arms in a car accident Knock knock Who's there? Not sarah. Roses are red Violets are blue Wow. Clever Knock knock Who's there? Still not Sarah, as she is in a serious condition at her local hospital, and so is fighting for her life.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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what is sticky and brown a black guys stick

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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