The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

Whats the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? NBA players make more, have more fans, and play a real sport.

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

What happend when they were 3 guys in the air? They were skydiving

Ask me any question. Okay, what is your favorite color? I refuse to answer.

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

How do you call a guy that ran over 10 children A bad driver

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

What ryhmes with turtle? räpe

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am colorblind I hate my life

Is this the Krusty Krab? Nope, Chuck Testa.

A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

there were ten in the bed and the little one said roll over so they all rolled over and one fell out then got back up and punched the little one in the face saying good night

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Ok

What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...