Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Why can't Chuck Norris die? He can, he's just a normal human being.

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How many Jews can you fit in the car? 4 in the seats and 6 million in the ashtray.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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were did the gay guy go nowere because it was raining outside

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james hedge is gay did you know if you look at him you turn gay

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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You know what they say about priests with big rosaries? I don't know, it's in Latin.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What do you call a man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk? A man wearing a fedora doing the moonwalk.

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What do you call a black man, an asian man, and a white man walking down the street? 3 men walking down the street.

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Q: How Do you make a baby be quiet? A: slowly chop it's head off with a blunted axe once it's head is off eat it

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Why does the Easter Bunny hide his eggs? So nobody finds he's been fucking hens.

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1 + 1 = 2 If it was equal to 11 the problem would be impossible

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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Why cant the asian find his family? His eyes were too squinty

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

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whos on the right track? lady gaga

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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