A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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What do you call a Pakistani flying a plane. 9/11

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Jimmy can't drive the tractor. Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he's a patato

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

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Three black men was in a car. They were going on holiday.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

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What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why can't a chicken cross a road without it being questioned?

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Senior Sergeant Thomas the officer investigating your current rape and insect charges. Please open the door now.

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obama

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Gretta has five legs? -no

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops