Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Best reaction to Anti-humor joke me: whats green and has wheels Friend: idk Me: Grass i lied about the wheels Friend:wow dick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A plane crashed. The pilot was some sort of food, like a loaf of bread or a salad. Neither of which can fly a plane or do much of anything-- like get a plane to move in the first place, let alone take off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between a horse and a house? 1 letter.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the cook put rubber bands in the spaghetti Because he was an asshole

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A retarded man walks into a bar and everyone was polite about his disability.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many dead babies can you fit a bathtub??? It depends on how you slice them!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats brown and booky a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what's 9+10? 19, not 21

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the white guy tell the two asians apart? They were identical twins.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? A cannibal. What? You are about to die and be eaten. Asshole! i will murder you first!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Bob: If two negatives make a positive, what would be an anti-anti-joke? Tim: An anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

3 guys are in a car crap manners and shut up.shut up is driving and crape falls out the window so manners goes and gets him. A cop pulls over shut up.he goes what's your name son?shut up.where's your manners boy?over there picking up crape.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is color coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Chelsea fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. There is an entire spectrum of the world I am not privy to.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops