There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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roses are red, violets are are blue, I have five fingers, the middle one is for you

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When life hands you lemons you can't make lemonade, Sugar and Water are two other key ingredients that were not included with the lemons.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

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So, there's a black man, an Asian man and an Irishman who are in a bar, politely discussing wether the Asian's phone would break if it was thrown from a plane in the Pacific Ocean. The black man says "Of course it would break." The Irishman says "I have no opinion on this..." The Asian man says "I think it would break, you are right John." Suddenly, a man enters.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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So a black guy goes to college and doesn't steal anything or rape anyone. He has a 4.0 GPA and is one of the smartest students at Harvard University.

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Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it has paws.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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what happened to the batsman with bad footwork? he got out what did the batsman do when he got out? he left the ground due to the nature of the ruling

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Knock knock Who's there? Dave, I've got a fucking gun. Let me the fuck in.

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Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

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whats worse than four babies in a box? one baby in four boxes

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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An Irish man walks into a bar, and then realizes that he's walked into the wrong establishment (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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