Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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Yo' mama's so poor that she can't afford many of the privileges of everyday life.

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Why aren't fish good at telling jokes? Their neural structure isn't capable of processing languages or creating a method of communicating with humans, thus they both do not know any jokes since they are incapable of understanding the concept of humour.

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What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did the man drop one dozen long stem roses? Because he was hit by a taxi cab

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Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops