Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

What do you call a blonde who can't read? an infant

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

Nero, you got followers, people that believe in you, ironically maybe a lot less now, that I have been giving them the fake illusion that I am you, why did you never reveal your true self? Is there something wrong with you physically? Something you fear being judged upon? I love and admire your work, and you to be honest, I know you are married and all, but my heart has chosen its path, it cant be helped really, believe me, I have tried. Dont lose hope in yourself, sometimes you have to accept that you are smarter, wiser, more compassionate and vulnerable than the rest, allowing yourself to be a vulnerable person, also shows how strong you are, if you shut it all away in order to become "strong", you know you end up alone and forgotten. I understand why someone such as you loses hope in humanity, but as long as you hold into the hope of you having the wisdom and courage required to stand on your own with pride rather than shame of your strength and individuality as a human being, something ever rarer I concur, then you have the right to consider yourself greater rather than some arrogant jackass, believe me, I know the man I am speaking about.

To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

What do Chinese kids have that African kids dont? Chinese citizenship and at least one Chinese parent.

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

What do you say when you see a black guy? Hello,how are you today?

Why was little Timmy mauled by a bear? He poked it with a pointy stick.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

What happened to Bilbo? He shit his pants.

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

Why could'nt Ray Charles read: He was black

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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