How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

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I gotta friend named Michael Nugyen and he dishonored his family. Did I mention he was asian ( he live in tampa fl )

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Q: Why did the officer stop the black SUV? A: Because it was going way over the speed limit.

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a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

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I liked your first album but I feel that it went downhill from there. There are a few good songs on your third album though.

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69

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What's worst then leaving a public toilet when you just took a shit and the toilet is now clogged Realising that the maid was waiting for you to get out to clean the toilet...

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Roses Are Red...Rolo's Are Round....Pull Down Your Pants And Let's Down!

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What's brown and sticky? Syrup.

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Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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What did the book say to it's reader? What are you stupid? People who read can't hear!

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There's a football player who walks into a bar and sees a gay guy. The gay guy says, "So you're a football player, right?" The football player says, "Yes." The gay guy says, "I have a game of football myself. It's called fart football. It's where you drink a mug of beer in less than five seconds and then you drop your pants and fart for the extra point." The gay guy goes first. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds and farts. The football player goes. He drinks the mug of beer in less than five seconds then he drops his pants and before he farts, the gay guy says, "BLOCK THAT KICK! BLOCK THAT KICK!"

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Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

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What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

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What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops