There were two penguin's sitting in a bathtub. The first penguin says to the second penguin, "Hey, pass the soap." And the second penguin says, "What do i look like, an alarm clock?"

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? No Neither has he.

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How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? (written in 1600 BCE - Westcar Papyrus) -You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish

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getting up in the morning is the 3nd hardest thing :DDD

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Obama lin Baden.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

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Why was the Mexican stopped at the border? He forgot his passport.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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