Q: How many teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they just sit in the dark and complain about it.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

Why didn't the policeman stop the bank robbery? He wasn't there

A muslim walks out of a plane.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

So a horse walks into a bar. The rancher immediately contacted medical help, and with a little teamwork, the horse was treated and revived.

Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

Hi im a joke i eat turtles

Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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