What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

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what is big and can make things come out? a gun

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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Why did Larry fall off his bike? He was hit in the head with a brick...

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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saftey torch you can out it on the porch. saftey torch put it in the hallway. saftey torch scare the monsters away. saftey torch that'll be 50 bucks.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

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A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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