Waitress: Would you like to have a drink? Customer: (Looks at the drink's menu) Hmmmm... What are my choices? Waitress: Yes and no.

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why was the boy sad? his bellybutton hurt

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When SCUBA diving, why is it important to fall backward off the side of the boat? Because if you fell forward, you would still be in the boat.

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"I'm terrible at writing jokes." -80% of the people on here.

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Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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Why did Jimy fell down the stairs, because he was adopted.

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Q. What did the chicken say to the buffalo? A. Nothing, this is an improbable predicament.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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why does stuart own alot of hollister because he is autistic

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What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's There? *runs*

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A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

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why did the kid sit alone at lunch? he had no friends

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like pie. I know you do too.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops