Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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I insist, you go ahead. See you around. how about in four six hours?

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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A Native American walks into a casino. He wants to invest a protion of his earnings from his fortune 500 company into it because he believes it to be a profitable venture.

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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What is the difference between Sarah Jessica Parker and a horse? Sarah Jessica Parker is a human being who is also a very skilled actress A horse is a animal which is usualy kept in a barn

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was making its way home after a long day of luckless job interviews

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What's the difference between a duck?

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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I dont think i could ever stab someone, I can barely get a straw through a capri sun

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Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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How can humans fly? Well if you run and jump of a cliff...nevermind you would just smash your face on the ground. I guess that isn't technically flying.

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A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

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What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops