There's a black guy in a house. What's he doing there? He owns it.

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why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

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Kameron Brown is gay.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it, they aren't going to come.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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why was little jonny not playing in the baseball game? his legs were shattered in a terrible lawn mowing accident.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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What did the homeless man find on the side of the street? A pile of dead babies.

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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Two Christians are on their way to church. They stay for prayers and have a lovely lunch.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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What is the quickest way to speed up your 70 year old husband’s heart rate? Extract of foxglove is a very effective blocker of the parasympathetic nervous system, and since the parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for slowing the heart, this would lead to an increase in heart rate. However, it is very dangerous to use such chemicals without advice, and therefore it is better to seek an examination and, if necessary, a prescription from a qualified GP.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops