How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock Knock. Who's there? Barack Obama. Ok, come on in Mr. President!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the Asian man open up a Sushi restaurant? Because he had a fetish for cumming in sushi and giving it to strangers.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A: Well, we can solve this problem of the wood chuck chucking our wood by putting all of your spare wood in a wood chipper. Try throwing dust you chucking bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than having a retarded baby? Not having a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What has two legs, but can't walk? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

quantum physics?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops