A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and guacamole? The guacamole is delicious with chips, and the bowling ball is just a bowling ball.

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How can you get an asian kid to flunk a class? You can't.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Whats the difference between a dog and a piranha? Their names.

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What did the mom tell her son who she caught masticating loudly? "Do it with your mouth closed!"

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What's black an blue and doesn't like sex? The 8year old in my trunk.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Why did the camel cross the road? He was off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alexis. Hi, come in!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops