How did i get from Pakistan to Iraq Iran

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What's harder to pick up, a football or an anvil? It doesn't matter when you lost your fingers in 'nam.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't going to come.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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Donald Trump decided to run for President.

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What did the boy with no legs get for his birthday? A bike

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What goes up a hill with four legs and comes down the hill with five? A creepy animal that grows legs when it goes down hills.

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a man walks into a bar. ouch. that must suck, but he should really look where he's going

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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I got 99 problems, and most of them involve my terminal illness.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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